When I was little my dad used to take me to a local grocery store, known for having amazing chicken. You know, the chicken that they placed in a white paper bag, lined with foil on the inside…the chicken that always came with those super soft rolls. Anyway, I digress because this is really making me hungry. Ok, well back to the story. Sometimes, they’d have the hot sauce packets. But many times when we went, they didn’t. Nonetheless, the day I recall the most is the day, my dad didn’t ask for any hot sauce. He just brought the chicken back to our little green Ford truck and told me to get in. I told my dad, that he forgot to get hot sauce. That’s when he reached across my lap and opened the door to the glove compartment and inside was a bottle of his favorite hot sauce. I remember my dad saying, “You don’t have to worry about it, if you always bring your own.”
Now, looking back on this I thought about things in my marriage. I have always been creative and loved spontaneity. And so, I always assumed that the person I settled down with be able to do the same. So, I’d complain and be disappointed when I mentioned my need for change and creativity. And his idea of creativity was dinner and a movie or the conventional flowers sent to your workplace. But what I failed to realize is that creativity and spontaneity was my talent. It was the hot sauce that I needed and was expecting my spouse to provide.
So, if it’s something that you crave in your marriage. My advise would be if you have it, to provide it. If you want a weekly date night with your spouse, don’t wait for him/her to plan it, you do it. So many people complain about the spark leaving their marriages, but everyone refuses to light the matches they hold hold in their own pockets.
So in my new relationship, I will keep things different and new and fresh. And although, I’m certain that he will think it’s because of my desire to please him (and I will hope that he’s pleased). But it will really be to satisfy myself. That way I won’t have to be disappointed if my hot sauce isn’t available.