Lessons Learned:#3- Bring Your Own Hot Sauce!

11 Aug
Sometimes, it amazes me what things I can remember from my past. As I grow older, I realize my short term memory isn’t nearly as great. But, my long term memory seems to be better than ever. Some of the most vivid memories of my family make me laugh hysterically. But when I think about it, they could’ve be used to provide so much wisdom for my marriage, if I’d only looked a little deeper sooner.

When I was little my dad used to take me to a local grocery store, known for having amazing chicken. You know, the chicken that they placed in a white paper bag, lined with foil on the inside…the chicken that always came with those super soft rolls. Anyway, I digress because this is really making me hungry. Ok, well back to the story. Sometimes, they’d have the hot sauce packets. But many times when we went, they didn’t. Nonetheless, the day I recall the most is the day, my dad didn’t ask for any hot sauce. He just brought the chicken back to our little green Ford truck and told me to get in. I told my dad, that he forgot to get hot sauce. That’s when he reached across my lap and opened the door to the glove compartment and inside was a bottle of his favorite hot sauce. I remember my dad saying, “You don’t have to worry about it, if you always bring your own.”

Now, looking back on this I thought about things in my marriage. I have always been creative and loved spontaneity. And so, I always assumed that the person I settled down with be able to do the same. So, I’d complain and be disappointed when I mentioned my need for change and creativity. And his idea of creativity was dinner and a movie or the conventional flowers sent to your workplace. But what I failed to realize is that creativity and spontaneity was my talent. It was the hot sauce that I needed and was expecting my spouse to provide.

So, if it’s something that you crave in your marriage. My advise would be if you have it, to provide it. If you want a weekly date night with your spouse, don’t wait for him/her to plan it, you do it. So many people complain about the spark leaving their marriages, but everyone refuses to light the matches they hold hold in their own pockets.

So in my new relationship, I will keep things different and new and fresh. And although, I’m certain that he will think it’s because of my desire to please him (and I will hope that he’s pleased). But it will really be to satisfy myself. That way I won’t have to be disappointed if my hot sauce isn’t available.


Posted by on August 11, 2010 in Lessons Learned!, Separation & Divorce


Tags: , , , , , , , ,

2 responses to “Lessons Learned:#3- Bring Your Own Hot Sauce!

  1. Shanna

    August 11, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    Well stated. We can’t always just sit back and expect things to happen. Sometimes, we have to make them happen on our own or at least give it a little push.

    • trankins78

      August 11, 2010 at 2:20 pm

      Thanks for the comment, Shanna! Surprisingly, everyone these days want to just sit back and do nothing and expect everything to appear with little to no effort. It’s such a shame, because many relationships/marriages could be saved if they would just bring what they have to the table. And stop expecting others to fulfill what they have the power to do for themselves.


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