Ok, this isn’t going to be one of those sappy posts, to encourage you to drown yourselves in your sorrow. Sure it’s Christmas time, a season of abundant commercials filled with sappy stories of husbands giving their wives, big diamonds and luxury cars or wives going out of their way to hide their husbands’ new plasma tvs. (No, I’m not bitter:))) I’m really not, because while we all would love to be showered by the one’s we vowed to spend the rest of our lives with. For many, that’s not a reality.
Having experienced a couple of lonely Christmases, immediately after I separated and later divorced from my now ex-husband. I’d like to share ideas on how to cope during the holiday season.
First, go ahead and cry it out! That’s right let it flow. There’s no use in holding it in. Holding in that kind of emotion can kill you. So have a really good cry. But you’re limited to 1 hour on Christmas Day! You can do it all at once or 4 (15) minute sessions throughout the day. But 1 hour is all you’re allowed for that day. Trust me, there’s nothing wrong with a cry, which cleanses the soul. But anything more than that will make you sick and exhaust you.
Next, take a really warm shower or bath. If you like, you can even combine your cry with your bath time. Those tears can just flow out of the tub or shower. That’s even better, because now you will have extra time in the day to do those things which are most important and healthy.
Spend time with someone! Now, because we didn’t have children, I woke up completely alone during Christmas. So I decided to spend the day with my mom. See, my dad had passed away a few months prior, so we both were dealing with significant loss. We leaned on each other for the holiday. But if you have children, why not spend it happily with them showing you what Santa (if they still believe) or whomever has gotten them. Either way, keep it positive! If you’re unfortunate to not have children, parents, or close friends to spend the holiday with, find someone in or around your neighborhood to spend it with. Or willingly find a shelter to volunteer to serve. It’s amazing how small our problems become, once we’re assisting someone with theirs. And in my experience, it allows God to work your problems out for you, without your interference, which can serve as detrimental to the situation. (But that’s another topic, for another day)
Next, eat well. Enjoy the meal that is prepared before you, whatever that may be. It’s a day to splurge a bit. Take your time and enjoy that dessert.
Nothing cures loneliness like laughter. Find humor throughout your day. Laugh long and big whenever you can. Watch a funny christmas movie. I had heard about the National Lampoon Christmas vacation. But I’d never watched it. So, I ordered it on Netflix and watched it that evening. It was really what I needed to pass the time in a positive way and filling my soul with joy.
At the end of the evening, journalize (Is that even a word? Oh well, it is now! LOL)your day. Talk about your emotions. Pour it out on paper. It will serve as a guide to your progress. Make sure your entry includes your day’s blessings. Itemize them, specifically. You’ll realize there are more than one blessing of the day. And besides, the greatest blessing is your life. With life, there’s always hope for a better tomorrow, which will come. Speaking of tomorrow, start planning for your new future. 2011 is right around the corner, so consider what you’d like to accomplish in it. It won’t hurt to have a plan b, c, & d. Because you never know what the future will hold.
And lastly, before you turn in, don’t forget to pray. Thank God that you survived the day. It will get better. Although, you’re more than likely going to feel some loneliness, remember you are never alone. God is always with us (Hebrew 13:5). So why not draw nearer to him? Let him penetrate you and ask him to provide you with the peace to handle whatever outcome is reached.
Just like everything else we encounter in life, this too shall pass! But to do it in a healthy manner takes determination and dedication. Dedicate your life to growing in positive way. Choose not to allow Satan to rob you of your joy! May you be blessed with a very Merry Christmas!