Tag Archives: fiance

Lessons Learned: #5 If You’re Not Willing to Follow, Then You Probably SHOULDN’T Marry Him

I’m certain that this post may rub some females the wrong way. But it’s fine, because I think it’s a topic that needs to be addressed.  When I look back at my marriage, this was one of the first clues that I shouldn’t be marrying him. However, looking back it was a warning sign that I didn’t heed to.

As I study the Bible more and more, I realize that the instructions God created for us, was to make life much easier. In my opinion, the Bible is God’s instructions for a perfect world. We as people, make it imperfect by not following his divine order for our lives. Me??? I’m guilty too, which is the purpose of this blog. I believe in sharing my mistakes, so that if it helps just one person avoid a hurtful situation, then it’s served it’s purpose.

So if you’re a Christian and you believe that the Bible speaks the truth, then you’d understand that God’s instruction for marriage is that the husband is the head of the wife (Ephesians 5:23). It also instructs the wives to submit yourselves to your own husbands, as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22). With that being stated, if you’re engaged to a man that you don’t feel is responsible enough to lead you….you more than likely SHOULDN’T be marrying him. Or if you’re not willing to follow your fiance after you marry him, then you SHOULDN’T be marrying him.  

Honestly, I felt this way going into my marriage. I was very independent when I met my now ex-husband. I knew which way I wanted to go and I wasn’t willing to allow him to be the leader in our marriage. Quite frankly, I see a number of marriages whose wives are clearly leading, many who complain of their struggling marriages. And yet many of the men are perfectly suitable and able to rise to the ocassion of leading if their wives would give up the reins.

Before you get upset at me, I didn’t create the instructions. I’m just the messenger, I didn’t write it! Trust me, I’m not saying that husbands don’t have a part to play. But I do believe that you have to trust God when you do as you’re instructed. Going forward in my life, my next spouse….Yes, I said next. Because I believe that there are lessons to be learned in all mistakes and misfortunes in your life. I will be certain that the next man I marry is a lover of God and will love me as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25) and that I am sure that he is worthy of my following him.

In this life, we all have a role to play. And as a wife you need to know what that is and be willing and faithful enough to stay in your lane. Let the man be the man,  and ask God to condition you for any given situation to keep the faith. He knows all and sees all. If you do your part, you’ll still be blessed beyond measure.

Love and blessings,

Tanisha Rankins

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Posted by on May 24, 2011 in Lessons Learned!


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